Fancesca Battistelli – My Paper Heart

You guys know I like to talk about cool new music so here is one of my most anticipated albums of the year! Ok, ok, ok… I’m a little bias! I know Franny, I used to play for her when we both lived in Florida. We’d set up shop and play at the same spot, in front of the old Barnies Coffee joint, every Friday night. She’d pop open the guitar case, throw a couple bucks in to make it looked like we were already tipped, and we’d play all night. Franny on guitar/vocals and me on percussion… now she has a new album, she’s the #1 New Christian Artist on iTunes, she has her own ring tone on the verizon network for crying out loud! I’m excited about the album, and it’s not just be me. Enough of my touting, check out what her label has to say…

JACKPOT!!!

So today I arrived at work. The first thing I usually do is put my lunch in the fridge. So I head up to the 2nd floor kitchen… I pass the exec’s offices, wave to the dorky Star Trek IT guy, peer over the “talker’s” cube to see if I can avoid them while they are distracted by the computer screen, and and make a right into the kitchen.

The first thing that came to mind… JACKPOT!!! Right there before my eyes were 10 EASY-MAC containers with a huge sign, that looked like it was written by a blind person. “PLEASE HELP YOURSELF” it said… and I wondered if everyone would think any less of me if I really did help myself to all 10. But I thought better of myself, they aren’t very good for you. All that processed cheese crap gunking up my pipes… uuchhkk!

Pardon me, do you have 97 seconds to spare?

What can you do in 97 seconds? Well here are a few things to pass the time…

• Pretend you’re a robot – Walk down the street with mechanical movements, adding ‘zzzzzt’ sounds with each motion. Pretending to have a motor or something. Try not to do the “Robot” dance, but we all know you will!
• Learn blow spit bubbles – An interesting little talentless talent I picked up in the 6th grade. Gleeking was all the rage, but I couldn’t do it to save my life. So my friend Ed Winikie taught me how to blow a spit bubble! I’ve been grossing out my wife ever since I started dating her… thanks Ed!
• Nuke a Hot Pocket – One of life’s guilty pleasures! Quick, easy, delicious, a million flavors! They’re Ramen Noodles for adults, everyone eats them but most of us don’t want to admit it.

Ok, I’m guessing you all won’t do these things with your 97 seconds… well, my sister-in-law Beth will, she’s hella cool like that! But let me give you something you can do with 97 seconds.